More Sympathy GiftsExplaining Cremation to Children
The death of a family member or friend not only affects adults, but also can have a profound impact on children. Children experience grief just as adults do. Child experts say that even before children are able to talk, they grieve when someone loved dies. And these feelings about the death become a part of their lives forever.
It is important to remember that children deal with death differently at different ages and that their reactions are not always obvious or immediate. A child at two or three years of age has little understanding of the meaning of death while one who is eight or nine has a capacity to grasp life's mysteries and will remember the experience vividly. The level of a child's emotional development should be taken into consideration by the adult before talking to the child about death or death-related topics.
"Adults who are willing to talk openly about the death of a loved one help a child understand that grief is a natural feeling when someone has died."
Adults who are willing to talk openly about the death of a loved one help a child understand that grief is a natural feeling when someone has died. A child needs adults to confirm that it's all right to be sad and to cry; that the hurt they feel now won't last forever.
Answering a Child's Questions
Caring parents can help a child during a time of loss by being open, honest and loving and by responding to his or her questions in a way that shows they care.
When answering a child's questions, adults should keep in mind the following:
- Tell a child only what he or she is capable of understanding.
- There is no need to be evasive, but modify explanations to what the child can comprehend. A too complicated reply often confuses a child.
- Use language that the child can understand.
- What is said is important, but the manner in which it is said has even greater significance. Be aware of voice tone. Try to answer the questions in a matter-of-fact way without too much emotion.
- Remember that what is communicated without words can be just as meaningful to a child as what is actually said.
It is not unusual for a child to ask the same question again and again. Repeating questions and getting answers help the child understand and adjust to the loss of someone loved.
