Comments on: Complicated Grief: When Time Doesn’t Heal http://www.perfectmemorials.com/blog/complicated-grief-when-time-doesn%e2%80%99t-heal/ Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:46:54 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Pam Brown http://www.perfectmemorials.com/blog/complicated-grief-when-time-doesn%e2%80%99t-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-1097 Pam Brown Fri, 04 Sep 2009 22:08:33 +0000 http://www.perfectmemorials.com/blog/?p=1049#comment-1097 If the prolonged grief disorder is recognized as a medical condition, what would be the treatment? You state doctors can treat the disorder but I was just wondering if the treatment methods include drugs? If the prolonged grief disorder is recognized as a medical condition, what would be the treatment? You state doctors can treat the disorder but I was just wondering if the treatment methods include drugs?

]]> By: Russell Friedman http://www.perfectmemorials.com/blog/complicated-grief-when-time-doesn%e2%80%99t-heal/comment-page-1/#comment-1096 Russell Friedman Fri, 04 Sep 2009 18:56:04 +0000 http://www.perfectmemorials.com/blog/?p=1049#comment-1096 The Grief Recovery Institute Educational Foundation P.O. Box 6061-382 Sherman Oaks, CA 91413 Ph: 818-907-9600 Fax: 818-907-9329 On the web at: www.grief.net I have tremendous respect for my new friend Holly Prigerson, although I don't see eye to eye with her on this particular matter. It's not so much that I would contest the facts of her research, indicating 10-20% of those dealing with a death experience "prolonged grief." It is the missing context that troubles me. For example, of that 10-20%, how many of them, apart from the absence of their missing spouse [or other person who died], have an otherwise rich and full life of friends, family, and activities, as opposed to those whose primary interaction had been with the spouse [or other person] who died, and who are now essentially isolated a great deal of their time? What I’m asking is if absent other productive life areas and people to participate with, are those 10-20% classified as prolonged grievers solely because of their continued “yearning” for the person who died, without regard for their personal life circumstances? Has there been any research to indicate that the other 80-90% who are less “yearning” for their mates who died, are that way because they deal with loss or grief better than the others, or because they have a great deal of connection and activity in their day-to-day lives? [I must make it clear that one of the major myths we highlight in our books, The Grief Recovery Handbook & When Children Grieve, is the idea of Keeping Busy, which is not necessarily helpful for grieving people. So above, when I’m talking about “rich and full life of friends, family, and activities,” I’m not talking about just Keeping Busy just for busy’s sake.] I would direct the same concerns and questions to Dr. Shear, for the same reasons. Respectfully, Russell Friedman Executive Director The Grief Recovery Institute Educational Foundation
P.O. Box 6061-382 Sherman Oaks, CA 91413
Ph: 818-907-9600 Fax: 818-907-9329
On the web at: http://www.grief.net

I have tremendous respect for my new friend Holly Prigerson, although I don’t see eye to eye with her on this particular matter. It’s not so much that I would contest the facts of her research, indicating 10-20% of those dealing with a death experience “prolonged grief.” It is the missing context that troubles me.

For example, of that 10-20%, how many of them, apart from the absence of their missing spouse [or other person who died], have an otherwise rich and full life of friends, family, and activities, as opposed to those whose primary interaction had been with the spouse [or other person] who died, and who are now essentially isolated a great deal of their time?

What I’m asking is if absent other productive life areas and people to participate with, are those 10-20% classified as prolonged grievers solely because of their continued “yearning” for the person who died, without regard for their personal life circumstances?

Has there been any research to indicate that the other 80-90% who are less “yearning” for their mates who died, are that way because they deal with loss or grief better than the others, or because they have a great deal of connection and activity in their day-to-day lives?

[I must make it clear that one of the major myths we highlight in our books, The Grief Recovery Handbook & When Children Grieve, is the idea of Keeping Busy, which is not necessarily helpful for grieving people. So above, when I’m talking about “rich and full life of friends, family, and activities,” I’m not talking about just Keeping Busy just for busy’s sake.]

I would direct the same concerns and questions to Dr. Shear, for the same reasons.

Respectfully,

Russell Friedman
Executive Director

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