Pet Grief: Finding Support When a Pet Dies

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When Howard Stidwill and his wife, Barbara learned their faithful friend had bladder cancer, they faced a harsh truth: the death of a beloved pet can leave a void as real, and often as deep, as the loss of a friend or relative.

The Stidwells shared their lives with Max, an English pointer, for more than 10 years. Upon learning that Max’s illness would eventually claim his life, Howard and Barbara set out to do everything in their power to keep him as comfortable as possible. Ultimately, Max’s condition worsened, and the Stidwells made the heartbreaking decision to euthanize him.

Losing Max left the Stidwells emotionally exhausted. Over time, Howard observed that “in society, there is this absence of recognition for the loss of a pet” – a condition that left the couple feeling all alone in their grief. Eventually Howard used his experience to help others by establishing a group where people can turn for support and information as they face the loss of a pet.

Strength in Numbers

One of grief’s most troubling aspects is the feeling that no one understands what you’re going through. In the case of pet grief, that belief may be solidly grounded in reality; friends and family members who don’t understand the very special relationship between people and their pets may invalidate pet grief with insensitive comments like, “It was only an animal.” Thus, the pain of losing a beloved pet is often complicated by feelings of isolation and resentment toward those who don’t understand.

While support for pet grief isn’t as common as support for many other issues, resources to assist bereaved pet owners are on the rise. The American Veterinary Medicine Association website offers a list of telephone hotlines for those who are grieving the loss of a pet, while a Google search will also yield many support options, such as this listing of General Pet Loss Resources.