The kindness of strangers
Paul Betts, a former highway designer, heard a radio report last year about the increasing number of unclaimed bodies resulting from the recession. Perhaps the deceased were estranged from loved ones, or perhaps families lacked the funds to provide a proper funeral. Betts understood that Wayne County had a contract with a local funeral home to bury the dead, but the fact that no one was present to mourn their passing troubled him deeply.

A call to the county coroner put Betts in touch with Bill Kiesgen, the funeral director at Perry Funeral Home. The state and county pay the funeral home $700 per cremation or burial, and the funeral home splits the fee with the cemetery. Together, Betts and Kiesgen devised a plan to hold a monthly  prayer service for the deceased who have no one else to pray for them. As Betts saw it, “We’ve got a lot of abandoned buildings we can’t do anything about. Abandoned people, we can at least pray for.”

Although the Unclaimed Friends services, held on the third Wednesday of every month, are open to everyone, most of those who attend are members of the Episcopal parish where Betts is a member. Kiesgen supplies a white rose for each of the deceased – in March, there were 24 white roses – and Betts gives a metal angel to each of the guests. One by one, the names of the deceased are read aloud, and mourners respond, “May he (or she) rest in peace.”

Everyone deserves a farewell
“Everyone deserves some sort of a farewell,” according to Kiesgen, who doesn’t judge the families of the deceased, reasoning that they may have faced a choice of whether to feed their living members or bury the one who died.

Following the service, Betts encourages the guests to pass their angels and roses on to others with a request that they, too, pray for the stranger whose name is on the rose. He thanks everyone for coming and expresses his hope that by participating in the service, they have made Detroit a little kinder place.

Affordable Cremation Urns

The funeral business has always been considered recession-proof. Everyone dies eventually, after all, guaranteeing an endless customer base. And, with the rapid aging of the ubiquitous baby boom generation, the demand for funeral goods and services is sure to rise in the coming years. But demand is only part of the equation; today, more and more families are opting out of the expensive frills that escalate funeral costs.

Only “the best” for your loved one
I was 25 when my father-in-law died suddenly, and although I had no experience in such matters, I was designated to make arrangements. I recall the funeral director steering toward a high-end casket and describing the $10,000 funeral that went with it. “Surely, you’ll want the best for your father?” he said.

A faint smile crossed my lips; not only was my name not Shirley, but this funeral director obviously didn’t know Jack (which happened to be the name of my father-in-law). Jack would drive halfway across town to save a penny on a gallon of gas. When I went shopping – for groceries, clothing, or whatever – Jack, who virtually lived with my family, would ask how much I paid for a given item, eagerly waiting for my reply before he gleefully told me what a sap I was and where I could have gotten it cheaper. A thrifty but lovable curmudgeon, that Jack.

“Can we see something more affordable, please?” I replied. “Best,” after all, is in the eye of the beholder.

Affordable Cremation Urns

Consumers demand flexible, lower-cost funerals
That was many years ago, long before the global recession of the early 21st century. Bargain shopping for funeral goods and services wasn’t yet in vogue, but the lessons I gleaned from that experience made it easier for me to assist my own parents in planning their funerals a decade later.

Today, many factors have influenced the shift in the way we approach funerals. The Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule requires full price disclosure by providers of funeral goods and services, and allows families to choose only those items they want and need. And savvy, cash-strapped consumers are opting not only for “the best,” but also simplicity and cost savings.

Funeral service providers who get it are stepping up to offer discounted goods and services, and they’re thriving as a result. Take Newcomer Funeral Homes in Topeka, Kansas for example. Newcomer, where a casketed funeral costs just $4,000, saw a 10 percent increase in business in 2008. And Barton Family Funeral Service near Seattle charges just $695 for a cremation; they’ve watched their business double every year since 2005, to a point where they’re conducting around 140 funerals a month – more than some traditional funeral homes see in a year.

Practical suggestions for cutting funeral costs
Opting for cremation over burial is just one way families are reducing funeral expenses. Following are some suggestions we’ve heard for having “the best” funeral with the lowest cost:

• Let your fingers do the walking. Call around to funeral homes and ask for their price lists.
• Be wary of package pricing. Choose only the specific goods and services you want and need.
• Buy a casket from a discount supplier. The funeral home is obligated to use the casket you provide, and they can’t charge an added fee for doing so.
• Go natural. Embalming and leak-proof caskets are unnecessary expenses in most circumstances. “Green” funerals are friendly to the environment and the wallet.
• Let the funeral home conduct the burial or cremation, but hold a memorial service at home or in a peaceful outdoor setting.
• Ask friends and family to help with funeral details, from selecting a musical playlist to purchasing flowers to creating a program for guests. You’ll avoid extra charges for these services, and the funeral or memorial service will be far more personal and meaningful.

In recent years, pre-need contracts have been touted by some in the funeral industry as a way for consumers to control costs. Customers who sign pre-need contracts pay their funeral costs in advance in order to lock in current prices for funeral goods and services that are likely to escalate in the coming years.

Problems with pre-need contracts
While the terms of pre-need contracts can vary from one funeral home to another, the basics are the same: a person chooses a casket or cremation urn and any services he or she wants and then pays for the package either in a lump sum or in monthly installments. If the pre-need contract is paid in full at the time of death, the family won’t have to concern themselves with making funeral arrangements or scrambling to find a way to pay for them.

In some states, funeral homes or third-party sellers of pre-need contracts are allowed to take a percentage of the money up front for commissions and expenses, as well as the interest that accrues on the money paid by the consumer.

Unfortunately, there have been reports of problems with pre-need contracts from many states, from cheap, imported caskets that fail to meet the quality the consumer paid for, to a disturbing rise in funeral home fraud and mismanagement complaints. Some consumers have been unable to recover the money they prepaid after they cancel a pre-need contract, and some families have been forced to pay thousands of dollars more for funerals than the contract stipulated. In the most blatant cases of fraud, some funeral directors have essentially stolen the money from prepaid contracts and used it for their own purposes.

Another problem with pre-need funeral contracts is the fact that they’re not portable, but rather require the consumer to use the services of the funeral home that issued the contract – a significant downside in today’s mobile society.

Pre-planning makes sense
Pre-planning is another matter, however. The major difference between pre-planning and pre-need contracts is that pre-planning doesn’t require any money to change hands. For individuals who want to make sure their desires are carried out when they die and don’t wish to burden their families with worries about funeral services, caskets, burial or cremation and the like at a time when family members are likely to be overcome by grief, pre-planning may be the way to go.

Another reason we think that pre-planning makes more sense than a pre-need contract is the fact that people change their minds. If you sign a contract designating a certain type of casket and a cemetery where you wish to be buried, for example, and then later decide you’d prefer to be cremated and have some of your ashes scattered and the rest retained in a cremation urn, it’s much easier to change your plan than to amend your contract or get a refund. The same is true if you wish to add new services not considered in your contract, such as a green funeral or the use of technology to webcast your funeral.

Bottom line
Pre-planning your funeral can mean peace of mind for yourself and your family, but when it comes to paying for the arrangements, we recommend using the proceeds from life insurance or setting up a special account to save for your final expenses.

Like trimming the grocery budget or turning off extra lights in the house, consumers may look for ways to lower funeral costs, but the fact is, we all die eventually, and someone has to deal with the remains. Some funeral industry professionals are responding to the economic downturn by offering a wider range of goods and services to help people arrange their final exit in the style of their choosing.

One Funeral Director’s Response
Peter Moloney, whose family owns six funeral homes on Long Island, has made it his mission to help customers arrange unique funerals on behalf of themselves or their loved ones. From a hearse towed by a Harley-Davidson motorcycle to an ice-cream vendor in a Good Humor truck greeting mourners after a funeral, Moloney’s specialized services allow people to be remembered in ways as unique as they are. According to Moloney, 44, a fourth-generation funeral director: “You have to give people something special. If you’re not, someone else will be. That means adjusting to what people want today.”

Even in Recession, Many Opt to Go in Style
As funerals trend more toward cremation and home funerals and away from elaborate caskets with all the trimmings, consumers are driving the recession home to the funeral industry. One of the ways innovative funeral directors like Moloney are responding is by catering to individual wants and needs. For example, services for environmentally and cost-conscious families may include renting coffins and minimizing the use of chemicals, while custom amenities such as 14-karat gold mementos and personalized coffins and cremation urns appeal to people who prefer to go in style.

Growing Market
One thing funeral directors and others in the funeral industry can count on, even in economic hard times, is an endless stream of clients. And while consumer funeral spending may be on the decline, the rising number of deaths each year ensures a certain level of growth in funeral goods and services. (The annual death rate will continue to grow at about 1 percent per year through the early 2020s, corresponding to the aging of the baby boomers.)

In other words, while the recession is forcing funeral industry professionals to reconsider the goods and services they will offer and how they will deliver them, those who are prepared to adapt and evolve will continue to prosper.

Less than 40 years ago, 95 percent of the undertakers in the U.S. were men; today that number is closer to 43 percent. One indicator that the number of male undertakers will continue to dwindle is rate at which the proportion of female students in the nation’s mortuary science schools has grown – from 35 percent in 1995 to 60 percent today, according to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA). Following a recent funeral-industry convention, one female attendee observed that most of the attendees over age 40 were men, while 90 percent of the attendees under age 40 were women.

Women “undertakers” in history
While the preponderance of women entering mortuary science is a significant development, the concept of women caring for the dead is hardly new. In fact, throughout history, women have played a major role in caring for the dead. From the ancient Greek, Hebrew and early Christian traditions to colonial and pre-Civil War America, female family members or hired nurses were responsible for bathing, dressing and laying out the dead.

Only in the late 1800s and early 1900s did undertaking emerge as a distinct trade; even then, although it was uncommon to see a female undertaker, women were not prohibited from entering the profession.

Empathy and sensitivity are key
While no studies we know of have explored the reasons more women are opting for careers in the funeral services field, some people say it’s because women have a greater capacity for empathy and sensitivity than their male counterparts. Some women think of their career in funeral services as a “ministry” or a “vocation”; others are simply motivated by a desire to help the living or inspired by the compassionate service they received from an undertaker in a time of personal loss.

One thing is for sure: it isn’t the hours. Calls come in around the clock, and each one must be answered by a warm and caring human voice, regardless of the time – not exactly the ideal situation for a working mother. Nor is the salary likely to be a big attraction – while funeral home directors can receive salaries over $75,000, staff funeral directors and embalmers may command only half that amount.

Lisa Carlson is a former special education teacher who is now affiliated with two national nonprofit organizations – the Funeral Ethics Organization, which she founded, and the Funeral Consumers Alliance, where she served first as a board member and later as executive director. Based in Vermont, both organizations work for consumer protection and public education for consumers of funeral goods and services.

Like Lynch, Carlson is an author. When her husband committed suicide in the mid-1980s, Carlson wanted to care for his body at home. Unable to find much helpful information, Carlson researched the matter herself; that research formed the basis of her book, Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love. The book covers federal and state laws regarding funerals and includes a guide to planning after-death care, with or without a funeral director.

From rhetoric to legal showdown
Both Carlson and Lynch are widely quoted as experts in their fields. Both are dedicated to educating the public about end-of-life arrangements. But Carlson is a funeral-industry watchdog, while Lynch is a staunch defender of his profession. They know each other, and they quote each other’s work, but they disagree on many points – and they are fundamentally at odds over the degree to which the law should dictate standards for funeral directors and services. Now their differences have moved beyond rhetoric and into the courtroom.

After The Undertaking aired in 2007, Carlson commented on the program in publications of the Funeral Ethics Organization and Funeral Consumers Alliance. In September 2008, Lynch filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court claiming Carlson’s statements in those publications were defamatory. The suit names Carlson, the Funeral Ethics Organization, Funeral Consumers Alliance Inc. and Funeral Consumers Alliance of Idaho as defenders.

In his suit, Lynch states that Carlson and the organizations accused him of holding “unethical and untrue positions on the topic of after-life care and funeral options” and claims that, as a result, he has suffered “humiliation, mortification, and embarrassment, both individually and professionally” as well as business losses, loss of goodwill, harm to business reputation and loss of esteem and standing in the community and the industry. He’s seeking more than $75,000 in damages and legal fees, and has asked the court to order Carlson and the organizations to publish retractions and prevent them from using his name or likeness in any future publications.

Attorney William Burdett is representing the Funeral Ethics Organization in the case, pro bono. Burdett’s response to the complaint says the statements Lynch cites in his suit are not defamatory and in some cases are true; he also says Lynch has not shown damage from the remarks. The Executive Director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance has called the suit “outrageous.”

Barring a settlement, the case is expected to go to trial in September or October of this year.

Take Schoedinger Funeral and Cremation Service in central Ohio, for example. Schoedinger – the first funeral home in its area to offer live streaming funeral webcasts and archived video for family members and friends who are unable to pay their respects in person – is just one of many funeral service providers across the country who’ve ventured into webcasting in recent months.

Funeral video technology saves money, time, energy
As improved technology and affordable pricing provide the impetus for more funeral homes to consider offering webcasting and videotaping service, the demand for funeral webcasting is also growing. Economically, it’s a no-brainer: funeral webcasts start as low as $95 – a mere fraction of the cost of airfare, accommodations and other travel-related expense. Webcasting also saves energy and helps to reduce stress for mourners who are ill, afraid of flying or unable to take several days off work.

Funeral directors who embrace funeral video technology say that by allowing mourners who would otherwise be unable to attend a funeral to share the experience with loved ones, webcasting allows survivors to participate in an important part of the grieving process.

Ellery Bowker is the president of Director’s Advantage, a North Carolina-based company that provides technological products and services to the funeral industry. Part of funeral webcasting’s growing appeal is the fact that the Internet has become an integral part of daily life for many Americans at home and abroad, according to Bowker, who cited the case of a solider in Iraq who was able to watch his grandmother’s funeral in North Caroline via webcast.

For some, change isn’t welcome
Not everyone thinks funeral webcasts are a good idea, however. One Mansfield, Ohio attorney, calls the concept “demeaning,” while others worry that mourners entrenched in a couch-potato culture may avoid paying their respects in person, even when there are no obstacles to attending the funeral service, thus depriving family members of the in-person comfort and support they need at the funeral home.

For funeral directors, meeting the needs of all the members of such a diverse society poses a challenge. Some funeral homes have a long tradition of serving specific demographic groups, such as African-Americans or Buddhists, while others respond to special requests for religious or cultural accommodations on a case-by-case basis. Now, more and more funeral homes are taking a proactive approach, reaching out to people from all ethnic, religious and cultural traditions.

A Family Focus
When Preciado Mortuary in San Bernardino, California opened its doors in 2001, the 400-seat facility was designed to serve extended Latino families. But owner Jerry Preciado soon found that family-friendly amenities like the funeral home’s kitchen had great appeal for first- and second-generation immigrants from other countries. Food plays an important part in the funeral customs of many cultures – various groups offer gifts of food to or on behalf of the deceased, while mourners from all backgrounds often gather over food to share nourishment for the body as well as the soul.

Honoring Religious Tradition
Many mortuaries offer support for wide-ranging religious customs as well. For Hindu families who wish to carry a loved one’s cremains to India for the traditional washing ceremony in the Ganges River, funeral directors like Hamilton Jones, of the Miller-Jones Mortuary & Crematory in Hemet, California, will write a letter to assist families in clearing customs with the cremation urn. In the case of Jewish funerals, accommodating funeral directors do everything they can to expedite all the necessary paperwork so that burial can take place within 24 hours of death, as prescribed by Jewish religious law.

Some of today’s progressive morticians, in tune with a growing desire to personalize the funeral experience, will even assist families in staging funerals at home or in other unconventional locations.

Cremation Urns Reflect Modern Trends

Modern funeral trends can also be seen in the array of unique cremation urns that are designed to reflect the personalities, lifestyles, hobbies and beliefs of the deceased whose ashes they hold. Although most people still envision a classic Grecian urn on a shelf when they think of cremation urns, choices now include motorcycle urns, religious urns, photo-frame urns, and tiny keepsake urns, to name just a few.

Cremation jewelry is another popular choice, designed to hold a tiny portion of ashes in a pendant that can be worn close to the heart. And some companies, like Memory Glass of Santa Barbara, create memorial jewelry from cremains, while others incorporate thumbprint impressions of the deceased in their creations.

A New Generation of Funeral Directors

Much of the credit for these novel trends in funeral goods and services belongs to a new generation of funeral directors, like Leo Dumont III and Andrew Hall, both of Nashua, New Hampshire. Both men earned degrees in other fields before going to work in their families’ funeral homes, while many other young adults who choose careers in funeral services have no family connection to the funeral industry. What these 20- and 30-somethings have in common are the fresh perspectives they bring to their work – innovative ideas that help to breathe new life into the funeral business.

First aired in the autumn of 2007, The Undertaking tells a timeless story of life, death and dying from the perspective of a family of funeral directors and the people they serve, both living and dead. Based on a book by Thomas Lynch (The Undertaking: Life Studies from the Dismal Trade), the documentary leaves no stone unturned as it explores seldom-touched aspects of death, grief and funeral customs.

Lynch and his family have been in the funeral business for three generations. Alan Ball, creator of the Emmy®- and Golden Globe®-winning series Six Feet Under, describes Lynch as a “brilliant, soulful writer” and acknowledges that Lynch’s writings were a primary source of inspiration for the popular HBO series, which also centers around a family-owned funeral home.

From its somewhat gruesome, yet fascinating, glimpses into embalming, corpse care and the sifting of cremated remains, to the practicalities of caskets, crematories and cemetery plots, to poignant stories of grief and loss, The Undertaking focuses on the experiences of several real-life human beings as they boldly look death in the face:

• Anne Beardsley, whose beloved aunt, Mary Leonard, died at age 84, shortly after being diagnosed with lung cancer. After taking time to prepare for her aunt’s death, Anne seemed surprised at the wave of grief that overcame her when Mary finally passed.
• David King, whose father, Dennis, died at age 72 after a brief bout with cancer. David, once skeptical about the value of funerals, gained a newfound respect and appreciation for the rituals that helped him come to terms with his father’s passing.
• Robert Kelly, who visited Lynch to make funeral arrangements for himself and his wife. Kelly described the “relief” of knowing that their sons won’t have to answer a lot of questions and make difficult choices when he and his wife die.

But perhaps the most moving story chronicled in The Undertaking is that of Nevada and Anthony Verrino, whose two-year-old son Anthony was born with a rare genetic condition and ultimately died from complications related to the disorder. With profound courage and generosity of spirit, the Verrinos share their heartbreaking journey. (Watch Nevada Verrino as she delivers the eulogy at her son’s funeral.)

The Undertaking is also available on DVD.