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Choosing a Grave Memorial for Your Loved One
Today most people use the terms “headstone, “gravestone, “tombstone”, and “grave marker” interchangeably. Although historically each term referred to different types of grave markers, today most people just use them to differentiate between flat and upright markers and typically refer to an upright marker as a headstone.
Most cemeteries have strict rules regarding the types of grave markers or headstones they will accept, and those rules vary greatly, not only from cemetery to cemetery, but sometimes even from section to section within the same cemetery. Before you set out to choose a type of grave marker, request a copy of the rules regarding grave markers for the section of the cemetery where your loved one is buried.
Different Types of Grave Markers
The types of grave markers seen at cemeteries include traditional headstones or flat grave markers, but there are also sculptures and burial monuments such as mausoleums and obelisks. Historically, cemeteries often celebrated the deceased’s life by erecting large burial monuments to signify the importance of the contributions made by that individual. Keep in mind that the larger the grave marker, the more expensive the cost.
Whether your loved one is being buried or cremated can affect the type of grave marker you choose. Typically, a traditional burial displays variations of headstone styles, although some people do choose to bury cremated remains in an urn and choose a flat grave marker to create a physical visiting space.
Variations of grave markers are endless since each is personalized and created especially for the deceased. With so many custom features available, your grave marker can consist of a simple slab with a name and date, or be a large, ornate headstone with an etched portrait and inscribed poem.
Headstone or Gravestone?
Headstones, also known as gravestones or tombstones, are typically what we imagine when envisioning a cemetery. They’re the most common type of burial marker and are usually made of stone and stand upright at the head of a grave.
Types of Headstones
Although upright headstones are common, there are other types of headstones available to choose from. Here are the five different options:
- Upright – The most traditional design, made of the base, and the die or the upright slab of stone that contains the deceased’s information. Upright headstones can be formed into different shapes across the top and don’t have to be a flat top rectangle. These can also be built to accommodate two graves if two people are being buried side by side.
- Slant – Slant headstones are typically shorter and shaped to lean back so that the face can be seen easier.
- Bench – Bench headstones are usually quite large, ranging between 3 and 5 feet in length and offer visitors a place to sit. Engravings and inscriptions are shown on the side of the bench, not on the top sitting area.
- Wing – A more elaborate headstone, the wing is made with a space or area in the middle of the headstone to accommodate a vase.
- Flat/Bevel – A flat headstone is more commonly referred to as a grave marker and these usually sit flat on the ground.The most popular stones for headstone construction are marble, granite, or slate. Some manufacturers use concrete, iron, sandstone, limestone, bronze, or even wood.
Known for its extreme strength and ability to endure the elements, granite is the most often used in the construction of grave monuments. Granite is an incredibly hard stone with a long tradition of use in grave markers.
Modern engraving methods have made it easier for artisans to work with granite, which comes in a variety of colors ranging from gray and black to shades of pink, rose, and red.
Choosing a Headstone
Choosing a headstone will depend on a few factors: cemetery rules, budget, and personal preference.
Headstones can cost between $1,000 and $3,000 for standard versions, but prices can jump a great deal depending on the design, material, inscription, and custom features.
Keep in mind that custom-made headstones can be expensive. There are only a handful of stoneworkers left in the U.S who make custom headstones, and most of their creations start at around $3,500. Depending on the artist, the size of the memorial, the type of stone used, and the extent and detail of decorative work and inscriptions, the cost can rise to tens of thousands of dollars.
Choosing Between Types of Grave Markers and Designs
There are also other types of grave memorials beyond headstone variations or flat markers. You can memorialize your loved one with a sculpture marker in the shape of a heart, angel, or another figure, apply for a military marker for a veteran, or choose to have a portrait etched onto a marker.
Most grave markers bear at least a short inscription that includes the name of the deceased and the years of birth and death. Some markers also include an epitaph, which is a saying that represents the personality, philosophy, or faith of the deceased. The epitaph can be a famous quote, an original verse or statement, or a line or two from a favorite poem or song.
Grave Marker Costs
Depending on your loved one’s preferences, a grave marker can be as ornate or basic as your imagined design. Inscriptions, images, or design elements can cover your grave marker and form an exquisite memorial.
A basic, flat grave marker typically costs between $300 and $600 depending on the inscription, material, and detailing. If you start looking at rarer stones and more extensive artwork, the cost can easily jump up to $5000.
Commemorating Your Loved One
You can, of course, also opt to have a basic type of grave marker and use the savings to memorialize your loved one by personalizing memorial jewelry, choosing a special cremation urn to display, or customizing comfort products to keep your loved one closer to your heart.
If your loved one is being cremated it’s perfectly fine to divide ashes and bury some to have a physical place to visit, commemorate, or mourn and to keep some ashes in an urn at home, or even scatter some ashes in a special location. Your options are endless when it comes to memorializing your loved one in a unique and personal way.
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