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How to Cope with Summer Grief
Let's face it: summertime comes with expectations like trips to the beach, mountain vacations, backyard barbecues, and Independence Day fireworks. Sunny weather and social events seem to demand a smile, but what if you're not in the mood to smile? If you're struggling with summer grief after a recent loss, those expectations can feel brutally out of sync with reality. So, what can you do about it?
First and foremost, go easy on yourself. If you're not feeling joyful, don't beat yourself up about it. Grief takes time, and everyone moves through it at their own pace. If you're not ready to attend social gatherings, give yourself permission to say, "no, thank you," to the invitation.
Find activities that ease your pain. Walking in nature is soothing to the soul. Participating in exercise triggers endorphins that can boost your mood. Talking with a friend, family member, or grief counselor can help you work through your feelings. Even just spending a quiet afternoon sitting in the sunshine on your porch can make you feel better because the sun's vitamin D may improve mental health. None of these activities require you to smile, but you might find they make you feel better.
If you planned events or a vacation with your loved one, decide whether doing those things in their honor will help with the grieving process. You may find it somewhat empowering. On the other hand, if the thought of sticking to those plans is overwhelming, it's okay to cancel them. It's possible that choosing to do something completely different feels better. Trying something new might help you discover a sense of renewal.
If you have children who are also mourning your loved one, be sure they feel safe talking through their feelings. If they seem to have guilt about wanting to participate in fun events, let them know that it's okay to enjoy summertime activities after losing a loved one.
Remember that your loved one wanted the best for you. Even though they are no longer physically present, they would want your "new normal" to include peace and happiness. To help you through the process of grieving, check out our list of resources, including support groups, books, and podcasts.
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