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All Articles & Guides / Gifts / Sympathy Gifts for the Loss of a Child

Sympathy Gifts for the Loss of a Child

Coping With the Loss of a Child

Losing a child is likely to be devastating for any parent and those around them. It’s important to remember that each person has their own grieving process and that experiencing and working through grief can be very important. Offering your time and support to the parents and other family members can be one of the best sympathy gifts for the loss of a child that you can give.

To show your support to family members coping with the loss of a child, let them know that you are available to listen or to help with daily tasks that can feel overwhelming during their time of grief. You never know how valuable a simple word or gesture of kindness can be to someone who has experienced such a painful loss. Try not to impose yourself into the life of the person who is grieving, instead, make kind gestures to show your sympathy. If you’re not as close with the family, you can also consider sending a sympathy gift for the loss of a child to show your support.

Memorial Gifts for the Loss of a Child

Before giving any sympathy gifts for the loss of a child, consider your relationship with the family. If you aren't close to the family but want to express condolences, you may want to send flowers or a card. If you have a close, personal relationship with the bereaved, you may want to consider a more personalized gift.

Choosing the Right Sympathy Gifts for the Loss of a Child

Depending on how close your relationship is with the bereaved family, you can opt for non-material sympathy gifts over tangible gifts.

Intangible gift ideas are typically more appropriate for those who personally know the family and don’t feel like they’d be intruding during a time of grief. Here are some ideas for ways to help a family that’s coping with the loss of a child.

  • Childcare - Families with several children may need help with the other kids, for example, and you could offer to babysit or look after kids while parents make funeral arrangements.
  • Food – meals are common sympathy gifts for the loss of a child but be sure to consider the family’s likes and dislikes as well as any dietary requirements. Healthy dishes that can be frozen are a good idea, although comfort foods, like casseroles and desserts, get their name for a reason. If the family has been overwhelmed with food gifts, consider bringing your gift a few weeks later, after the initial outpouring of support has lessened.
  • Home care – Mowing the lawn or finishing a house repair will probably be the last thing on the mind of someone who has recently dealt with a death. Offering to take care of those tasks - or hiring someone who can - will ease the burden of keeping up with chores around the home.

Personalized Memorial Gifts for the Loss of a Child

There is a range of sympathy gifts for the loss of a child that can be personalized for the family or for an individual.

  • Memorial jewelry - If you want to give a gift to an individual, you might consider a piece of memorial jewelry. Many jewelry pieces can be engraved with a brief message or the name of a child. Other options include photo engraved jewelry, which has a photo of the child or family engraved directly onto the items, or print jewelry, which includes a fingerprint, handprint, or footprint of the deceased.
  • A religious reference - A religious parent or sibling might appreciate a memorial cross necklace or angel pendant with a scripture.
  • Holiday-related gifts – one of the hardest times of year for those who have lost family or friends is around the holidays. Giving a memorial gift such as an ornament can help commemorate and honor the deceased during that time.
  • Outdoor memorial gifts - consider a memorial garden stone, wind chimes, or stone statuary. Most of these items can be placed outside, and they may be used to create a special garden memorial for the child.
  • Indoor home décor gifts - Memorial candles and keepsake boxes can make good gifts for an everyday reminder and commemoration to a lost child.
  • Soft keepsakes - One unique and special sympathy gift that you may want to consider is a soft teddy bear keepsake holder. This bear comes in several sizes and has a zippered pocket in the back where cremains or other keepsakes can be kept. There is also a small pocket on the front. The teddy bear is soft and easy to hold, and a sibling or parent may find that it offers a physical source of comfort.

Don’t be offended if you’ve given a family a sympathy gift, and they’ve chosen not to display it. Some families appreciate having a memorial to their child in a private place where they can go and think about happy memories and experiences. Others simply find this type of reminder too painful. Remember as well that, just because a parent doesn’t want to display a gift when the loss is new, that doesn’t mean that it won’t be appreciated in the future when the grief is not so fresh.

Encouraging Quotes for the Loss of a Child

A traumatic event such as losing a child is unimaginable so finding the right words to offer condolences can be challenging. If you’re sending a sympathy card or gift, consider adding a kind message to show your support. Here are some suggestions on what to write in a sympathy card:

  • “Thinking of you and your family during this tragic time. The love and joy your child brought to everyone will never be forgotten.”
  • “Our prayers are with you during this time. We are lucky to have known (son/daughter’s name) and they will be remembered forever.”
  • “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. Your son/daughter was a true light in our lives and will never be forgotten.”
  • “Extending our deepest sympathy to you during this time. Sending you love and hope to help you find strength during this time of grief.”

Grief Support for Parents Coping with the Loss of a Child

Thousands of books on the death of a son or daughter and support groups are available with a variety of focuses. Some authors share stories of other grieving parents, others take a psychological approach to explain how and why we feel the way we do after experiencing a loss. All may offer different types of grief support for parents.

Books About Losing a Child

  • Beyond Tears: Living After Losing a Child written by nine grieving moms who share their stories of grieving after a loss of a child and what to expect in the first year and beyond.
  • When the Bough Breaks Judith R. Bernstein represents mourning through interviews with fathers and mothers grieving the death of a child – ages ranging from 5 to 45.
  • Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child Written by hospice chaplain and grief specialist Gary Roe gives personal advice and understanding of the topic. It is book 4 in Roe’s Good Grief series, and among the best books for grieving mothers.
  • Saying Goodbye Without Saying Hello RaeBeth McGee-Buda tells her story of grieving the loss of a baby. After losing a baby, the journey of a grieving mother can be complex.
Assortment of books.

Grief Support Groups

The loss of a child can make you feel isolated and misunderstood. Visiting a grief group or reaching out for more information from those who understand first-hand gives the opportunity to hear how others experience grief.

  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free referral and information service that offers counseling and coping tips and can connect you with local support groups in your area.
  • Thousands of GriefShare support groups hold weekly meetings around the world, welcoming anyone at any stage of grief to join at any time.
  • Grief Anonymous offers support and outreach across the nation, including medical research, downloadable information, support hotlines, and social security benefit information.

Online Groups

Finding the right online group can be difficult, especially while in bereavement. Looking for internet support can be exhausting, but there are dozens of legitimate and highly respected groups available for parents who lost a child. Visit Dying.lovetoknow.com to view a list of specialized groups or general loss support groups.

Members of support group comforting one another.

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